Getting Settled

Well here I am months after my last post. In case you didn't know - we moved to Hendersonville, TN in mid August from Portland, OR. It will officially be seven weeks tomorrow that we arrived at our new home. I said I would never live in the south - but look at where God put me - and I have to say I am enjoying it - it is clearly where we are supposed to be.

Things are going well, kids are adjusting. I have to say though - making like minded friends is harder than I remember - for the kids and us grown ups. I forgot how much goes into investing in those kind of relationships and the time that it takes. Not to mention the fact that some think I am a little nuts when it comes to adoption and orphan care. Maddy needs a friend her age, Carter and Maraya are really wanting to meet some kids from Ethiopia and Zoe - well she wants China friends. Jack - he is doing well - he just rolls with it. I am plugging in where I can - but I find that as you get to know people - you may not be as like minded as you first thought -that makes it hard. Bill needs some guy friends, someone he can talk with, pray with, hang out with and just be a guy with.

I don't have pictures to share right now - but will as soon as I find my camera. Many things to put up - I probably won't post much text - but I will get birthday pictures and archery pictures up from before the move.

Will try to find the camera this weekend.

Today I am getting ready to teach my first class to 24 homeschool kids. Homeschool - something I never thought I would do - but I am enjoying it. Now the art class we are doing today - started out to be a few kids along with my five kids just doing some purposeful are projects - well it has grown to 24 kids - exciting - but oh my a little scary at the same time.

We will see how it goes - will try to find my camera and take pics.

More Aquarium Pictures

The Oregon Coast Aquarium

On the 5th of July we met some dear friends at the Oregon Coast Aquarium. It was a lot of fun (it took a lot less time to get through the aquarium than I remembered). It was a long drive for a short visit - but time spent with friends is always treasured regardless of the distance.

I think our favorite thing was the Japanese Spider Crab - it can get to be 100 feet in it's span.

Of course all the kids loved the "passages of the deep" tunnel.

Here are pictures of all my precious kids and our friends.

4th of July - After the Fireworks

These are my favorite pictures!

More 4th of July pictures

I should probably tell you we were at Rock Away Beach.

My favorite line from that night came from Jackson to his Dad.

"Do you want to come sit with me Daddy, it is a really great view!"

4th of July and the Aquarium

This summer is full of fun, firsts and moving! We wanted to do as many fun things in Oregon as we could before we move to the great state of TN. We also wanted to make sure that Carter and Maraya got to experience things, like the beach, aquarium, the list goes on - I will post individual trips in the days to come.

This was the first 4th of July for them, and the first time in a long time that we did it at the beach.

We got there early to get a good spot, the kids played in the sand for at least four hours. Digging, making sand angels, covering themselves or each other with sand - they had a blast. They loved how the sand felt on their feet - and when we got home - boy we had sand in placed I didn't think possible!

More Date Night and Special Day Pictures

Date Nights and Special Days

I think individual time with each child is so important to build a strong and close relationship with them. We had started having "date nights" with our children when we first brought Zoe home, about four years ago. Once a month, either Bill or I would take the other children out individually for some one on one time. This is not a "hit the arcade or spend a lot of money" kind of thing. This is truly to spend some quality time with each other, learning more about each child, their interests, their concerns, what is important to them, also it is a great way to model respectful behavior - manners, holding doors, etc.

Last summer we also started having "Special Days". This is a day when one child gets to have mommy and daddy all to themselves for an extra special thing that the child chooses. Those are truly wonderful times, and I learn so much more about my children and who they are becoming.

It is during these times that Zoe shares her fantasies about China and her China mom - something completely age appropriate and expected. I am so glad that she talks about it with me. Carter and Maraya, recently had their individual dates with us - they both talked about Ethiopia. Carter even asked me on his date "why you brought us here?" It was a good opportunity for me to hear more about his memories, what he misses, what he loves and his thoughts and feelings about America and his new family. Of course we always talk about his Ethiopia mom and how wonderful she was, as well as his uncle and brother that they both remember.

Jack - what a great kid he is. He is really becoming a wonderful big brother - patient, kind, helpful and loving. He is my nature boy - loves bugs, trees, animals, science. His perfect date is walking around a nature park and talking - gotta love it.

Maddy - What a beautiful girl - inside and out. We recently went to get her nails done and then to Clair's for some "fun shopping" as she likes to call it. She tried on hats, glasses, held up ear rings, etc - she looked great in everything. Yikes - my tall, beautiful, blond girl with green eyes and a tan that looks great in everything - I am very afraid of boys in her teen years!

Maraya - she is such a joy, fills me love, reminds me of what is important. She loves to try new things, isn't afraid of much at all and is always so happy. She loves it when I do her hair, or really just spend time with her. Her and Bill recently went to a park, then the rose garden then some ice cream - a wonderful time.

Carter - he is ALL BOY - no nature walks for him - give him cars and sports! I took him to pump it up recently - he bounced all over the place. I bounced a bit with him - until I picked him up in one of those things and hurt my back - oh well - it was better in time for me to go down the bouncy slide.

Zoe - She is my thoughtful, caring, sweet as pie girl who prays for everyone - then on the other hand does everything to cover herself and get someone else in trouble. She has come a long way though - typical sibling behavior. She just wants to cuddle and have time with either Bill or I. Her favorite place to go is the zoo and then out for Chinese food. I have a special surprise though - for her next date - I am taking her to the Chinese gardens then to Chinese dinner. She is very China focused right now.

My Daughter - Broken, But so Beautiful and Inspiring

A few weeks ago Maraya was having a hard time - pushing her boundries - normal for any kid - but especially so for an adopted child. This was a good sign. She needed to realize that her Dad and I have set boundries for her - and they were solid - there was nothing about that or us that would change - this gives children such a sense of stability. Likewise though - she didn't really appreciate the dicipline factor when boundries were crossed (some things are universal).

Well, after being sent to her room a few times, to the corner a few time, etc - it was now evening and we were on our way to night church - where the kids do choir and then Royal Rangers/ Missionettes. All the kids love those activities - especially Maraya. But on the way to church she started talking about how she missed Ethiopia and her Ethiopia Mom. Now I believe that to be VERY true - I also know that when one is having a bad day - the grass is especially greener. I never take offense to these comments - infact, I encourage her to talk more about it. So I asked her - to tell me more. She said, "In Ethiopia, no go to room, no corner, etc". I asked her what did she do in Ethiopia. "In Hosanna (where she lived with her other Mom), we walk and feet are hurt, no socks, no shoes, Carter is piggyback on my Mom and everyone says No Thank You" I asked about her Dad - "He no nice - he hit my Mom and push us out of house". Now was this her real Dad - I don't know. From what I can gather from other conversations, her other Mom was either looking for food, shelter, work or a combination of the above and was consistently told no thank you. She continued to tell me that the floor was dirt and her other Mom had no pretty dress, just one broken dress (I assume that it was ripped).

All of this she told me in the car ride to church. Once we got to church - it was obvious that she was very sad. I asked her if she wanted to spend some time with me and go to class in a little while - she said yes. We took the others to class and found and empty room for her and I to sit in.

This is a very important time, as her and I had been butting heads for about the last four weeks prior to this. We both sat down - I asked her if she wanted me to hold her - she said yes (I held back tears). I asked her a series of questions - some of them were - Did she like it in America Yes very much, but I miss Ethiopia.
So normal - I can't imagine how it feels to be so happy on one hand be sad and grieving on the other hand. I asked her if she was happy - she said yes, she "I so love you". Holding back more tears - I asked her if she understood why she was in America. She said - very sad and trying not to cry "I don't know why". Oh - my heart dropped - how could she not know why - she is certainly old enough to know something I thought. I proceeded to ask her about the last time she remembered seeing her Ethiopia Mom - all she could say is that she give them food and takes care of us, then they couldn't find her. What exactly does all of that mean. I don't know. I know what I was told, and I know other options in the back of my mind that could also be true. Because I was told that both parents had passed, I chose to tell her that if her other Mommy could take care of them she really would, that she loved them very much. I explained that she got really sick and could not take care of them anymore. God knew that and of all the children in Ethiopia he chose her and her brother to come to our family and that I was so lucky and blessed that he did. I also told her that I am so glad that she loves her Ethiopia Mom so much and that it is good to love both her and I - that she is so blessed to have two Mommys that love her. I told her it was ok to cry and she sobbed in my arms - something I am sure she needed to do for a long time. I expect things like this to happen every so often.

That was a long story to get to this point. My daughter is broken, her heart hurts, it will heal - but will always have a scar - however, she is so beautiful inside and out - so inspiring. She has faith - like no one I know. As a child she KNOWS God, she LOVES God, talks and sings of him always - she has walked with bare feet in the rocks, with no food, she has seen devistation that most in America will never see, yet she is joyful. She has faith - not the kind of faith that we have when we have faith for only an area of our life, or a certain issue we are dealing with - she has faith for everything in her life - because she "gets it". She is always telling me that it is ok when something goes wrong and always reminds me that we can try again later or something equally fitting for the situation.

Why don't we have that kind of faith - think about it. She is inspiring - I hope to one day be more like her. I am happy to say that we are no longer butting heads and have bonded amazingly since this night.

Hendersonville - God's Plan all along?

If you haven't heard, we are moving to TN this summer - Hendersonville to be exact. My Husband went out to visit different areas in March of this year - seeing as neither of us had ever been - it seemed prudent to at least check out the area - not that we have a lack of faith - we just wanted to know what we were signing up for. Now the areas that I gave him to check out were Franklin, Brentwood, Hendersonville, Mt Juliet and Lebannon - with my hopes for Franklin. Well - he really did like Franklin and began to look for a home there for us. After a few days though - he decided to check out some other areas. His first day in Hendersonville - he came across a house - and by the next day - he leased it. From what I can tell, it is a really nice house, in a quiet, newer neighborhood, just four blocks from the lake.

Now - what I just discovered this morning. God really has a sense of humor. Our youngest son, Carter was wearing a Bible camp shirt that came with him from Ethiopia. He got toothpaste all over it, so I asked him to go change. When he turned around, I noticed the writing on the back. I asked him to come closer - would you believe that it said First Baptist Church - Hendersonville!!

I just spoke with a very kind pastor from this church last week. It sounded like it might be too big for us, and one or two other things that would not be a good match for us, but now I feel like we have to at least check it out.